Forty by Forty (40x40) - Day 40

In 40 days, I turn 40 years old. Although I'm not especially bothered by turning 40 (if any birthday was hard, it was either #18 or #39), I kind of thought it'd be fun to try and do 40 things (a thing a day) on and before the 'big day'. I'm going to send my thirties off in as big a style as I can...

So what will I strive to do? Well, I can't travel too much (my ability to drive has been impeded) and I won't be doing anything crazy (like bungee jumping or skydiving) so in the grand scheme of awesome, it may only register as a “6” - perhaps even just a “5” - but it'll be my 5 and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.

You can follow along here on Barefoot Deliberations or find me on Instagram or Twitter. I will also be posting publicly on Facebook (I will specifically open up the 40x40 Facebook status updates and will Tweet  links to them). The notable exception is the one item which stipulates "24 hours with no Facebook, Instagram or Twitter". I likely will still blog about it though - not totally decided!

Here, in a not yet determined order, are the first five things of the 40 things I aim to complete...

1. Finish & share my 40x40 list!
2. Sign my organ donor card!
3. Make a duct tape wallet for TroubleMaker (aka Brennan, who, with each year, outgrows his toddler moniker)
4. Store away our winter clothing & footwear
5. Make a kid summer "bucket list"!

Exciting, I know! Can't you just wait to follow along? Each Wednesday, I'll post the next five things on my list.

The significance of September

It would appear everything I like doing, I stopped doing in September.

As my son and his friend sat down to play the Wii, I thought "What should I do?" Write! That was the obvious answer. I donned my earphones, turned on my music (do you have any idea how annoying the Mario games' music is?) and opened my story (you know the one, the one I wrote in six weeks?). It was then I noticed I hadn't touched the story since September 19 (2013)! WTH?! How did that happen?

I started dreaming about the story the other day and I knew I had to get back to it. I have a serious love for the characters in the story - I'm kind of sad, really, I should get a life. Maybe it's the writer's curse to be in love with your own hero and heroine?

None the less, yesterday's post about "new year, new book" may be the inspiration I was looking for. I mean, really, I have at least one other story idea sitting in my head (I wrote it down - I can't trust myself to remember my name these days) but I want (must, need) to finish up the first one before I dive into another.

Here I go, back in with Derek and Clare, see you on the other side!

(PS If/when I publish the book, I think "Derek" will have a different name. I used "Derek" initially as a place holder and it's not grown on me)

A Little of This... A Little of That...

I've started approximately 15 blog posts since I last wrote. They fell in the random category - both musings and rants but none of them developed into a full post.

I'm tired today and am "recovery" mode... Recovering from my three week vacation (which wasn't actually a vacation - kind of), I'm catching up on terrible TV and trying to...

Okay, I'll get real - I sat down this morning with every intention to start (and maybe finish) the rough edits to my story (which I'd like to remind you was written in 35 days (I will take victory where I can). It's taken me four months to finish the rough edits (I'm currently transcribing them into the digital version) except in that time I actually wrote the (please forgive me) "sequel". Not so much a sequel - its more of the 'continuation'. I finished the first story and I was like "It's done!" But I loved my characters so much, I started writing again.

Anyway... I meant to finish adding the edits to the first story but then I got sidetracked because I had to enroll TroubleMaker in swimming (and research gymnastics - he asked to go back into gymnastics) and then I had to confirm some stuff for his piano lessons (including ordering a new electronic piano) and then it was like noon and I had to fry up the new potatoes I'd cooked for supper last night.

Needless to say, I didn't but I did not want today to be a total bust so I'm writing a blog post instead.

A blog post about nothing.

Thursday and other such ramblings...

I've got four posts in 'draft' (or can it still be draught?) but I'm too chicken to post two of them and the other two aren't done so today, I shall babble incessantly about nothing. Or maybe about something; I don't really know yet.

Let's talk Twitter first. I joined a while ago (like a month or two) and was initially trying to figure out exactly what it's purpose is. Although I'm not quite sure I know, you can follow me, if you so desire, it's kind of interesting to know what people are doing day to day, minute by minute - especially since so many people have a much more interesting life than I do (it feeds my voyeuristic tendencies - no, mothers of mine, I'm not 'weird' like that, I mean in a 'watch E news kind of way'). It kind of feels like a high school popularity contest and that bothers the crap out of me. I part because we're all adults, right? Yet, we find (as adults) new and even more tortuous ways to perpetuate the childish games we should have left behind. Or maybe that's just me and the coffee talking.

Here is me: Brennan's Mom

If you follow me, I'd love to follow you back and we can be Twitterpated with one another (again, not in a 'weird' way)!

What else should I talk about? Hmmmm...

I have a birthday coming up (Saturday) and although I typically keep my birthday low key and quiet (which is weird, because on the inside, I'd love skywriting and surprise parties and big announcements on the radio), this year I know my son wants to plan a party (yay! he's just like me when it comes to celebrating things). It got me thinking about presents...

Since 2005, my husband and I haven't exchanged gifts. It may have started before that, I'm old (and getting older) and I don't remember quite as well as I used too. Since TroubleMaker was born, we allow him to get us something at Christmas (we still don't exchange gifts) and sometimes birthdays. Typically, I have no idea what I want - because I don't really need anything.

This year, I've come up with a list of 8 things. In no particular order, they are:
1. Popcorn maker (Brennan got me one at Christmas and it always ran rough -  about a month ago, it died completely)
2. Ice cream maker (This isn't a need but a want - because in the summer, I see the BEST homemade ice cream recipes)
3. Drum kit (my husband says 'over his dead body' and did not find it hilarious when I said it could be arranged - I was, of course, joking - but he's really serious - eventually, our house will have one, don't worry)
4. Saxophone (I played for years but never owned my own. I'd love to take it up again and want one!)
5. Swimming pool (this is ridiculous request that will never be fulfilled unless it's another 5' kiddie pool)
6. Perfume (usually, I get this for Mother's Day - but I'm running low on the (only) one I wear)
7. Electric guitar & amp (again, I've played for years but my ex-partner sold mine (almost) 20 years ago)
8. Microphone (so I can sing and maybe start recording some of the stuff I've written lately)

I feel totally selfish and greedy for having a list so long. It's almost embarrassing.

But not as embarrassing as my 21st birthday when either my ex-partner or my (horrible) ex-step monster arranged for a 'surprise' at the restaurant when we were all out celebrating my birthday. I was 'forced, cajoled, coerced' into standing on the table while the restaurant patrons and staff sang me happy birthday. I've never forgiven anyone for perpetrating that and it is my only memory of that birthday.

In other news, I'm in the process (the long, tedious, frustrating, time consuming process) of editing my story. A month or so ago, I printed it off (I'm best at editing that way) and made changes, fixed, ect. As I blogged about before, I procrastinated my keister off. I designed the house the family lives in (three storey, obscenely big), wrote my outline (most of it), answered questions that were kind of open ended about the story and have begun the character biographies (most of this was a means to an end - my memory is terrible and I couldn't keep my facts straight - all of this was my way of being a continuity director). I am also now wrestling with the idea of letting my husband read it. He's read a couple other things I've written and he liked them (one he really liked). This (story) is totally different than the other two pieces but I've got to start somewhere and he said he'd be nice with his criticism.

Lakeside - nearly the same spot - August 2012

Lakeside - July 2012

I'm also thinking about doing one of those lists - you know, the ones that allow you to quickly add up how inadequate you are at life? The 30 by 30 type thing, but of course, mine would be '40 by 40' (since I'm turning 39). I do not know, however, if I'm prepared to set myself up like that. I mean, my list would be simple but with my continued health issues, climbing Mount Edith Cavell (the back trail - see the link below - the glacier calved almost a year ago taking out part of the parking lot, road and creating a new 'creek' in the former creek bed - the pic of Brennan and his Pépére was take a mere 14 days before the collapse - we saw a large part calf the day were were there - it was a sight to see) or hiking to the top of Whistler's Mountain may be next to impossible. Although in my defense, last summer, we were with in 100' of the top of Whister's Mountain but we were all just too out of shape to continue in the high winds and chilly conditions (excuses, excuses).

I really like talking, in case you hadn't realized it, and sometimes, I just need to blab about nothing and not be deep or meaningful or insightful (okay, I have never actually been any of 'those' things on this blog but I think about it often because I am unique but I haven't found 'my voice' yet because I'm not sure exactly what direction I want my life to go in).

But this is the end of this little ditty (there could be more but I try not to swear too much).

Mount Edith Cavell - Ghost Glacier collapse

For fun - here are some pictures from Mount Edith from our trip and similar angles captured by Parks staff after the Ghost Glacier fell off the mountainside.

Lake side - before (July 2012)

Lake side - after (August 2012)

PS Sorry for the really, really bad text wrap - Blogger is being a cow today and I can't get anything to work!

Procrastination: Let me count the ways...

screen shot of the main floor

A week or two ago, I printed most of the manuscript I've written. I commenced editing it (I find it easier to edit it 'on paper' instead of electronically - guess that makes me "old school"). With all the edits done, I started the outline and character biographies (Stall No. 1). When that got tough, I started making the changes in the electronic document (Goal No. 1).

Then that got boring/tough/confusing so I decided, for continuity, I best make sure the house I'd described made sense. So I started designing the house (good thing my back ground is interior design and architecture). I even went so far as to draft it in AutoCAD. Seriously, who does that (me)? (Enter Stall No. 2...)

I printed said floor plan, laid out the studio and kitchen (two of the three main areas of the house spoken of often in the story - Stall No. 3)... Then, as the story moves up to the master suite, I decided I better get that on paper too, so I sketched out the second floor (Stall No. 4). I still have the third floor and back yard to figure out (Stall No. 5) because why should I stop there?

I decided that I will wait for the upper floors and the yard because I need to work out (Stall No. 6). Writing this story came as naturally and as easily as walking, eating and talking however editing this story is murderous!

I think part of the reason (I'm procrastinating) is because I am being asked by family and friends what the story is about and when they can read it. This is where I run into trouble! It's a very personal story as I interject much of myself and my life into the characters I write and this leaves me feeling extremely vulnerable. It's so much more than a story for me; it's a daydream, a wish, a secret longing. Sharing that with the first logical audience (family/friends) gives them a glimpse of who I am on the inside and that terrifies me!

No one wants to feel judged, let alone by the people you love most...


P.S. I decided to get rid of the 'formal dining' as it wasn't working for me.